Lately, I have been searching; searching high and wide for an answer that will direct me to my next step. It almost feels like I have lost something.
So I am rummaging around, frantically, trying to find “it.” I dig my hand deep into the toy chest to find that something, but I am not reaching far enough into the chest to find the missing item.
The same is true with the Lord. I am running around, but not lingering too long to find exactly what I need. I realized that I am running around, insecure. My insecurity is spewing out in my friendships and school work. It almost feels out of control, which is a feeling I am not a fan of.
Now why do I share this? I firmly believe in speaking out loud. Once these sins are spoken, I believe that they will no longer have a strong hold on me. It will be a continued pursuit to speak and acknowledge.
Right now, I feel as if I am in a beautiful forest. Wonderful things are occurring around me, and the stage of life happening around me is so sweet. Yet, there is this one decision that I feel I must make. So in this forest, I am up close to this tree, and all I can see is the bark. Yet if I can just take several steps back, I can see beautiful Yosemite that is right in front of me.
I understand that this is a small part of such a greater picture in the grand scheme of things. My heart yearns to not let this small season of the unknown overwhelm me. I vow to open up my hands and loosen my grip.
What we must do is let each other in. We must let our people in and also be honest with ourselves. It is okay that this is a weird and unsettling season, but I do plea that we must not let it dictate us.
There may be some questions that need an answer. So I share with you - quit searching. Quit running around, and look right in front of you. The answer may be a lot closer than you think.