This week, I have come back home for the holidays. For the first break in a long time, I will not be working or taking a class. This will allow me real rest, but what you all may know by now, is that there is a tension in me to sit still.There is a craving in me to hustle and go and be. I believe that I have become better at acknowledging and proclaiming weak areas of my life, but now I have to figure out ways to curve this craving in me.
Writing this statement, I realize there's a need in me to understand and control situations. I strive to get to the root of the issue and fix it. This is totally the go getter in me, but sometimes I do not have to go get anything.
You know what I am bad at? Breathing. Silly statement I know but I am really bad at deep breathing. When we allow ourselves to really breath, this gives us the opportunity to slow our role.
My junior year of high school, I had an english teacher named Mrs. Peebles. She was an incredible woman with an incredible passion for her students. Everyday in her class, she would make our class “sit.” This was a form of meditation. For 10 minutes, she would turn the lights off, and have us sit up. As we sat up, we would take a deep breath in, and as we exhaled, we would let our thoughts out as well. This began a beautiful habit that would forever hold a dear place in my heart.
Along with “sitting”, she made us grab our composition notebooks. In these notebooks, we would write 3 dimes a day. A dime was an unexpected joy. As I looked around our classroom, my classmates were all diverse. There were so many answers that allowed us to all bond on the idea of being still. This was a discipline that Mrs. Peebles instilled in each one of us that has changed the way that I view my day.
To this day, that habitual task has now become a daily mantra. In my journal, you would see pages filled with dimes. These unexpected joys have brought this chaotic soul down to reality and have allowed me to remember the tiny moments of life.
As the break is looming overhead, it is easy for me to lean toward the tendency of filling my time. Though I am thrilled to catch up with dear friends over coffee and brunch, I must fight for the sacred rest that is found in the break. My mind is filled with expectations and desires that I want to accomplish, but I must surrender those. Because when I get back into the schedule of school, I want to look back with fondness and not regret.
Last week, we learned about expectations. This week, we will be putting this to practice. I pray that this Holiday season will be filled with the simple wonder that is held in the most tender spots of the season. I pray that I am allowed to meet the Lord, because He is already here doing a great work. I pray for eyes to see and a willing heart to walk in this obedience. I pray for strength to break the craving for hustle, and to lean into rest. I pray for freedom.
Friends, this season I urge you to breath deep. Feel the crisp air in your lungs and allow your gaze to see the unexpected joys in the everyday mundane. I am on your team to fight for this sacred time. It is well worth it.